“Mr. Martin, have you stopped splitting your infinitives yet?”
Mrs. Hitchcock stood in front of my second period English class and asked me that question.
It was about the only “wife-beating” sort of question appropriate to ask a ninth grader, and I was frozen. I was mortified. All heads turned toward me.
I had been brought up to understand that it was rude to give clever answers to adults’ questions, because adults would probably not find them to be clever at all.
That immediately ruled out the Bart Simpson replies like, “I never did it, nobody saw me do it, and you can’t prove anything.” I was left with no reply either way, except to gulp and voice the perennial “working on it, Mrs. Hitchcock!”
That experience and those that followed over the next four years left such an indelible print on me, that, although short of becoming a grammar Nazi, I did develope an insanely strong set of guard-rails regarding the use of the language.
My children would probably tell you that I could be persuaded to share language tips with people, if I were asked ( or forced.) (And yes, “WERE” is the correct verb tense over “WAS” in that example.)
I seem to have an especially difficult time listening to or reading the efforts of some (OK, many) communicators on broadcasts or in print.
Therefore, for others with a similar pet peeve, I am dedicating a corner for us to share language crimes. Please include any of yours as they present themselves, and I will add them here with my thanks.
Your pet peeves should not be of the “going 15 mph in the passing lane” stuff, but rather how people butcher sentances or invent unnecessary words. Here is a place for you to vent.
I intend to keep this page current with your additions and mine.
There will not be a test. This subject no longer counts any percentage toward your final grade.
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